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Congratulations, you passed the first part of our crypto term quiz. We’re very proud of you. But that doesn’t mean you’ve learned all there is to know. Especially because this is crypto where people invent new weird terms every day. Here, we invite you to test your knowledge and read really bad wrong answers in our second installment.
1. Mining means...
a. When a user has forgotten their crypto account information and has to “mine” their password on an old Motorola Razr to retrieve it.
b. A specific nervous disorder diagnosis for people who have crypto-related anxiety. When someone is “mining,” they’re spiraling and need to seek treatment.
c. A method to generate new coins and verify balances and transactions using fancy computers and complex math conducted by users, who are rewarded with crypto for their efforts.
d. The act of searching for a local burrito spot that accepts crypto.
2. A Ledger is...
a. Hardware developed by an A.I. secretary named Helen, which reviews all of your crypto spending with commentary like “that was a dumb one” and “who raised you?”
b. A ledger is a kind of decentralized, anonymous, public record of every crypto transaction ever and the amount and location of all the currency in circulation.
c. An unmarked grave in the Père Lachaise Cemetery (near Jim Morrison’s), said to be the resting place of a prescient Renaissance poet (“o crypt-o coin, I gird thy loin”), where devotees pilgrimage every spring for good juju.
d. A digital “to-do” list that centralizes your crypto goals, as well as household chores and dental reminders.
3. A Flippening is...
a. A term for the day experts predict ethereum will surpass bitcoin as the largest cryptocurrency, which does not involve a large group of people disappearing into thin air, leaving their clothes behind.
b. A day in mid-March when all crypto is worth the price of a single farthing, because it’s funny to say “farthing.”
c. A signature haircut, sort of like a bowl cut combined with a mullet combined with a French braid, that’s the mark of a crypto billionaire.
d. When a user “flippens” their currency into a farmhouse-style decorated converted barn condo. Lots of gingham and exposed beams.
4. Mt. Gox is...
a. A spa in the Netherlands where the founders of various crypto firms meet every year to — honestly? — lose a little weight and take medicinal psychotropics.
b. In early drafts of the Lord of the Rings, Tolkien refers to “Mt. Gox, a place where money passes between the minds of men and becomes stronger as the sunset fades,” an influential passage to the creator of bitcoin.
c. An enclosed suburb in Japan home to the world’s richest crypto founders. Has a nice community pool.
d. The once-dominant Japan-based bitcoin exchange that went bankrupt in 2014 after being hacked. Stands for: “Magic: The Gathering Online Exchange” because it was originally an exchange for the fantasy card game.
5. The Web 3.0 is...
a. A dive bar in Calgary with a jukebox that only accepts cryptocurrency and home to the world’s first poutine vending machine.
b. A movement that envisions a new internet built on the principles of privacy and decentralization (imagine if three giant tech companies didn’t have all of your data — wild, right?).
c. A streetwear brand famous for caricatures of cryptocurrencies modeled after the Goof Troop.
d. The term for a future in which experts predict all currency is digital, except for good old fashioned lunchroom bartering.
6. The Moon is...
a. When a cryptocurrency founder drinks too much peppermint schnapps and shows their buttcheeks to stakeholders.
b. A currency backed by heavy minerals that operates somewhere between crypto and hard currency. Also leaves a rash on your hands.
c. When a cryptocurrency is experiencing an uptick in the market it’s referred to as “mooning” or going “to the moon.” Confusingly, there is also a coin called MOON.
d. When a user “moons” it means they went hard for crypto once and then never used it again, similar to NASA and the moon. Do they even care about that thing anymore?
Answer Key: 1. c, 2. b, 3. a, 4. d, 5. b, 6. c
Alex Beggs is the senior staff writer at Bon Appétit. She only plays with Monopoly money.